Grand Wishes - Advocating To Preserve The Grandparent-Grandchild Bond
by Susan Hoffman

It is often overlooked, but how important it is--the relationship between a grandchild and grandparent. As our families become more diverse, sometimes separated by miles, with the added stress of a fast moving lifestyle where quality time is not the norm--even an intact family can have problems spending time together. For some, the holidays, may be the only guaranteed time for togetherness, for the entire year. The role of grandparents in this day and time, is losing it's place--and when a young family divorces--it can disappear entirely. In most cases, the biggest loser is the child. As families separate and reform, emotions run high and children often become pawns in a hurtful game--used as weapons--to make sure the opposite side gets "the message."  Nothing could be more debilitating to a child, especially when the relationship between child and grandparent was a secure, loving and safe one. A divorce is a time when a child needs reassurance, and yet, the carpet is pulled from under their feet, and they think they are in someway to blame. Excuses, mistrust, guilt and revenge replace love and security--and rocks the child's world. Often the grandparents lose all rights to see their grandchildren, despite the child's need for their continuing love and support.

Author Susan Hoffman has experienced this, and decided to do something about it. It can happen to anyone and it can happen fast. Grand Wishes is a journey through the pain, the reaching out process, and the come-to-understanding process. It is a book all grandparents AND parents should read-especially if the parents are headed towards divorce. It is a well-written, easy-to-read, forthright account of what happed to Susan, what can happen to others, and what can be done about it. Her courage and fortitude led her to forming her own support group and ultimately to finding a legislator that would author a bill protecting the rights of grandparents, allowing them to petition the courts for visitation rights. The bill was passed in 2007 in California.

Editors Nancy Reid and Lisa Smith, along with Special Co-Host Carlisle Bergquist interviewed Susan Hoffman on our online radio show, Ultimate Living on October 31, 2008. To listen to the entire, unedited show, please click here. To listen to Susan's interview, please double click on the Play Button below.